POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVIII, Issue 136, 6 December 1939, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

•V PERCY KAQh

Q^uery: What has become of the Great War? Answer: It's gone stale mate. .*■■'.•♦ ♦ In other words, Comrade Molotov, because you don't like the Finnish Cabinet you bomb scores of Finnish civilians to death. ' * * * Traffic Officer 29.—The Russians are rushin to ftnnish. the Finns but can find no means Norway in which to per Swede anyone to help them. * . * * Add definitions: A barometer is an ingenious instrument which indicate* what kind of weather we are having. JAKE. ■ * * .*"■■•. A WEIGHTY DECISION. After viewing the blooms at the various rose shows held recently, ani of the opinion that the \"blUe ribbon" should be awarded to Mexican RoseV^OLD JUDGE. ■ * ' * ■ *'.■•'*■:■■..■ HITLER. Yo*u must know now, if you fly too high, . You must come to earth and learn t« '. .die. i ' ■ . ■ ■■' -.■;. ■' ■ '.'■>' We will build you a nice strong cage Where you can safely storm and rage. *• Soon we will all begin to sing Of a very sad bird with a broken wing. MILMAY. * ■ . * ■ ■ * ■■.-■■ FOR GOLFERS ONLY. Dear Flage,—As you are a golf enthusiast perhaps you will enjoys this joke from the "Sunday Dispatch," writes Gemini. "I am thinking of giving up golf— for the sake of the wife and caddies. "Still, I'm not as bad as I was. Yesterday I hit a ball in one. "I'm npt as bad,-either, as one mem-, ber of our club: I once saw three ants climb on top of his ball to keep out of danger while he was making his shot!" **• : ■ * AN ARRESTING INQUIRY. Sir,—As it is suggested that anyone who refers to the tea shortage, the in>. ports restrictions, the Reserve Bank Amendment Bill, the shortage of "sterling, should be prosecuted (see the Labour paper of recent date), will you advise me as to whether I, who am down with influenza, and no lemons procurable, am liable for arrest when I conderrin the methods of the Minister of Marketing?- I must say,. Sir, that my remarks in connection therewith, are not fit for publication,, though, if it were possible, I should be only too pleased to repeat them direct to the Minister. I am, etc., 8.M., . (Which means business man.) # * * SOME DELECTABLE ''HOWLERS/ A Soviet is a cloth used -by hotel waiters. To be called to the Bar is to be treated to a drink. \ A street is a road that has a very gpod class of people in it. B.Sc. stands for Boy Scout. Conscription is what is written on A tombstone. ■ ■ . . - . A connoisseur is a man who stands outside the picture palace. Shakespeare lived at Windsor with his Merry Wives. " ' A phlegmatic person is one who has chronic, bronchitis. ' A welsher is a native of Wales. 1 The punishment for bigamy is sftvea years and two mothers-in-law. Cerberus is salt used for flavouring soup. William Rufus said: VMy he^d is ruddy, but unbowed." A quotient is the number of- emigrants entering America in one year. The masculine of vixen is vicar. # ■. ■ • . ■ ■■■.■ : * "EREHWON." ' , At last the fatal hour has struck. At last, I'm finished, for 'tis said. New Zealand's troops are ready now, With "Tiny" iFreyberg at their head. Now where, dear Hermann, can I hide? Oh! tell me, where has Himmler gone?, "Why, with the rest, mine Fuhrer, to That wondrous isle of 'ErehwOnV But,, where on earth is .this fair -land? I've never heard of such a place. And if the Reich had known, that isle Would now have been in our embrace. But now I only wish to find Some peaceful isle to linger on. lfMine Fuhrer, there is such a place, If you will go to .'ErehwohV To get there is a tricky job. You pass through Russia on your way, Then strike ahead across the sea; Until you reach the Frozen Bay. From there you must advance on foot. So bow your head and wander on; Just trek along, and you will find The road that leads to "Erehwon." Don't be disheartened, if at first The air is cold and damp, for then You'll know the weather is too bad For any but ■ the worst of men. And when you've reached your journey's end, You'll find a post with writipg on; It points to where you'll live in peac«—• Read backwards, it reads "Erehwon.** JAYBEE. Northland. .-..♦, ♦ * ■ . . THESE RED WOMEN.. A woman, with a clear, precise voice, directs the enormous freight traffic which passes through the railway jiinction at Moscow in a stream that runs on day and night. Timber carried from the north to the south; coal and. machinery going from south to north —huge quantities of material must pass through the junction—and the flow: of . traffic is controlled by the orders of a woman. She is Zinaida Troitskaya, slender, bright-eyed,: cheerful—and Snly 25 years old. She claims to lie ie first woman railway traffic direc- . tor in the world. Ten years ago, When she was a small girl at school, Zinaida confided to the other girls that her ambition was to be the captain of a ship. "I am going to be the- first woman sea captain," she vowed. "You see!" She did not go to sea, however. Born and brought up in * lam- x ily of railway workers she became a fitter in a locomotive shed. In time, she qualified as an assistant engine , driver. At first she found herself r-eceived with ill-concealed distrust by the men who drove the locomotive. But Zinaida worked hard 'and soon won her comrades' respect. By 1936 she was recognised as one of the most efficient drivers in the Soviet Union. F6r her ability as a driver of the most powerful engines she was awarded the Order of Lenin. In October last year Zina.ida drove the first passenger train (from Moscow to Tashkent) operated entirely by women. She had two women. assistants in the engine, and other , women acted as guard and train attendants. Now there are seventeen women engine-drivers in the U.S.S.R. Zinaida was promoted from her position as th« first woman engine-driver to be th* s first woman traffic director. And, •!• v though she is not a sea captain, the control": room from which Zinaida directs the trains through Moscow junction is fitted up very much like tha of a great ocean liner