POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVI, Issue 116, 12 November 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGS

Chronicle and tommeni

At Addington yesterday it was a caM , of "Australia will be there!" •» * .« It is to be hoped that Hitler will not get fussy if he misses the Nobel Peace Prize award. «• » * ■ '" 'i Another thing that the fear-sod-den world needs (comments "A.P.") is a masterpeace of statesmanship. * , ♦ ■» i ■ ■ Add definitions: A gold-digger is a girl who loves a man for all she's worth for all he's worth. ENGE. « « ■*.-.... . PLUMBERS. From "Enge."—l have seen this wise* crack on the poor plumbers once or twice in old papers, so it might be new to you: 'Twas the voice of the plumber; I heard him complain: "I've got a new mate who will drive me in,sane; • He works like a Trojan, and breaks all the rules By turning up early with two sets of tools." * * * "TOUCHED"? The/ feelings strong, where men ar» men • Have boiled up in the "Momus" pea. With bitter thoughts,, no doubt for such As think we've lost the Nelson, touch; Men not too old, a scuttling crew, Who tell mere kids "it' 6up to you.* England expects—N.Z. on knees Will do its duty—to appease; Wrong may be wrong, and right b« right, ...■■:■-■ Was wisdom ever born of fright? DRUM. « * *■ EQUALOGUES. Now look on these:— Before -f to melt = excessive. Receptacle ■4- stubborn = sincere Hoarder + talented = unhappy. Carrier + weight = New Zealand town. Human being + seed-sowing machine = large ape. , j \ In front + proceed' = precede. Meat food + to scoff = bed of can* vas. " Healed wound + Wellington is this = shortage. " ■..;.■■ Note.—Seven out of eight correct answers will satisfy this examiner. "Connie Reader" (Lower Hutt).— ■• Shall use your equalogues next week. Trust us to be discreet. ..'■-, v • M.W.—Full marks for brain-teaser arid equalogues. We'd be glad of a copy of Newbolt's "Clifton Chapel." » * * '■*■'... BRAIN-TEASER. Organisations wearing coloured shirts are all the rage in Poly- ' chromia. At the moment there are five would-be dictators named Black, Blue, Brown, Green, and Pink. Each has a coloured-shirt army which would more appropriately be commanded by one of the others; for example, the commander of the Pink Shirts is not Pink but Brown. Also, each commander nas a second-in-command who is the, only, son of one jo£ the. others, and, as with the commanders,. no second-in-command is associated with the shirt that suggests his name. The father of Black's second-in-command commands the Black Shirts; the father of Green's second-in-command commands the Pink Shirts; the father of Pink's second-in-command the \ Blue Shirts. ; Pink's second-in-command is married to young Black's sister; while , young Pink is engaged to the sister of Black's second-in-command. Name the commander and second-in-command in each army. * ' .* ♦ , SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that — (l)-So fine was the painting of some ancient Indian miniature paintings that sometimes the painters used only a single hair? (2) The highest temperature ever recorded, 136 degrees, was far from the Equator, at Azizia, in Tripoli? (3) An electric light bu|b probably represents the result of 'more, highgrade scientific research than any other article in common use? (4) About 90 per cent, of the pure white cats bred from white stock are deaf? (5) The "University of Texas recently adopted courses in how to sleep for 254 of 5200 students who are below par physically? (6) Bull-fighting was not originally Spanish; it started in Egypt, was adopted by Rome, and was from there introduced into Spain by the Moors? (7) The hottest places in Britain all the year round are the Channel Isles and the Scilly Isles? (8) Chinaware derives its name from the glazed porcelain jars in which the ancient Portuguese sailors brought back spices from China? (9) Soda water in any drink make* it go to your head faster, and often gives one a headache next day? (10) In the State of California there is consumed fifteen times as much wine per capita as the general avei* age for the United States. INVICTUS. This is the poem by W. E. Henley asked for by "Karori Reader": — Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole I thank whatever gods^ there be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud; Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tear* Looms but the Horror of the shade. And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid, [t matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments th« scroll; I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. i * # * ZIPPERED "HOT DOGS." Some time ago one. of our most facetious clients crashed' in with the suggestion that sausages should have a zipp on. their overcoats. We liked the idea well, chuckled over it, and then passed on to the more vital things of life. And now we are able to assure our correspondent that zippered "hot dogs" have become a reality. Cleveland, Ohio, claims the credit of adding the latest milestone -«>, the march of progress in the form of a zippered hot dog, wiener,' or frankfurter. The frankfurter is provided with a zipper-like affair that may be pulled down, stripping the outer casing from the succulent sausage. One objection to the eld-fashioned frankfurter, in its time-honoured form, has been the toughness and indigestibility of the casing. This was remedied to a certain extent when the "hot d<?g" came on the market, dressed in a very thin and transparent synthetic casing. And this was followed in time by the skinless frankfurter. From that to the zippered "hot dog" was a mere step It has been suggested, since, that tha' time has arrived for a Burbank t* grow bananas with zippers.