POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 30, 5 February 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Percy Flack.

"No Bite."—Angling Harry Lauder j not coming to New Zealand. Rivers not wide enough for a broadcast. « # » Of the two "Wcl'ys" most in the public eye our preference is for Hammond. • # • L.D.A.—De Quince} defined "nothing" as "less than the shadow of m shade." ■ # * ■» There were fewer road accidents In the horse-and-buggy days because a horse has more sense than a fool driver, but a car hasn't. # * * For all the good she got out of them Germany's colonies were about as useful to her as a set of false teeth would be to a bull elephant. # n , * THOSE TWINS. The mystery surrounding "Salvol's" twins was solved by "Sunisa" (in a neat rhyme), "O'L," "Quads," "62 Not Out," "St. Helen's," "Heard It Before," and "Form IV." The twins were born in March, Cambridgeshire, in February, the boy became a cleric and later on was the officiating minister at his si»» ter's marriage. c » « , GILBERT-PLAGIARIST. In reply to "Oxymoron": A literary friend, who is soaked in Gilbert and Sullivan, says that Gilbert made no secret of his indebtedness to the "Bab Ballads." At a dinner given to him in later years he expressed his gratituda to the author, "who, I am told, is present this evening, and from whom I have so unblushingly cribbed. I can only hope," he added, "that like Shakespeare, I may be held to have so far improved upon the originals as to have justified the thefts I have committed." ' * * » , RUTHLESS. Sidelights on Stalin, by John Gut ther, author of "Inside Europe," a best seller. Stalin is about as emotional as a slab of basalt. If he has nerves, they are veins in granite. Stalin was the man whom Lenin did not want to be his successor. His intelligence is nary, slow, thor« ough, rather than acute or brilliant. He is extravagantly ruthless. The Russian terror was a wholesale punitive assault on a class. Yet Stalin did not, at the moment of crisis, flinch from obliterating the recalcitrant peasants by the weapon of famine. The end justifies the means, in tha Soviet view. Stalin is perfectly frank about this. Lady Astor asked him: "How long are you going to go on killing people?" Stalin replied: "As long as it if necessary." >' *'• * \ SERVANT PROBLEM. • ■■ In New Zealand, as elsewhere, there is a dearth of domestic servants. Nowadays girls prefer jobs in chain stores and modern factories to prosaic household chores, in which occupation there is no romance and much less freedom. In Denmark, where the "servant problem" is just as pressing as in othef lands, a movement is afoot to end or ameliorate this difficulty (writes "Observator"). "" Danish housewives and domestics' are collaborating with that object in view. Points in the scheme include (1) regulation of hours and wages, (2) proper training of servants, (3) award of competence certificates to servants so trained, and (4) signing of a standard contract between housewife and servant when an engagement is made. To overcome the objection of girls to living on the premises, _ a gradual transition to the "help" "living out" is recommended where possible. The standard contract will provide for an 8-hour day, days off, and holidays (with board and wages paid), undisturbed evenings, fair wages, and fixing of conditions regarding food, lodgings, \ receiving' friends, and so on. Finally, the setting up of a tribunal to deal with disputes is proposed. This scheme has been worked out by the Association of Housewives and the House Servants' Trade Union, and it is hoped that it will be accepted by the Government and become law. « * • . SAFETY LAST! From .G.F.— An American publication featuring the automobile industry regaled its readers with, the following motorists' epitaphs for serious contemplation (While able, will the Hon. R.S. and other undertakers, kindly note). Lies slumbering here one William Lake, He heard .the bell, but had no brake. At fifty miles drove Allic Pidd, He thought he wouldn't skid—but did. Here he sleeps, one Johnny Shawn, He rounded a turn without a horn. Here's all what's left of "Blind-way" Harry; At the railroad crossing he did not tarry. At ninety miles drove Eddie Repton, The motor stopped, but Eddie kept on. Down in the creek sleeps Jerry Bass; The bridge was narrow; he tried to pass. John William Jones lies under thii thistle; He didn't heed the engine's whistle. Here lies the body of William Gay, Who died maintaining his right of way. And now, a warning for the inebriates: Pray for the soul of young John Peel: He was too "well-oiled" when he took the wheel. •■ * * INDIGNANT READER. ■ Yesterday evening, while mopping out the kitchen after tea (our usual task), we received a call on the 'phone; An indignant male voice asked if w« were So and So. We said we were. ''Well," said the caller, "I want to protest against that slur you cast on Bradman and McCabe in a par in your column on Tuesday last." We replied, "Indeed?" He said, "Yes. I've cut it out and I'll vead it to you." (Par follows): It is to be hoped that Bradman and McCabe will have cut out today that hook-or-by-crook shot. Play tha game, you cads, play the game. "I'm a regular follower of your 'page,' but that's over the odds, and as an old cricketer and—l hope—a sportsman, I think the par is unjust and in bad taste. Those men have a clean record and yet you " "But," I interrupted, "can't you see " "lye nothing more to add," said the critu;, and rang off in my ear crashingly. Clearly, the Dear Old Thing thought that the "hook-or-by-crook" stroke (the "or-by-crook" was only persiflage) was an unsportsmanlike, if not illegal, shot! In point of fact, the hook, as any cricketer knows, is a perfectly legitimate and honourable shot, though a risky one —as Bradman and McCabe, two of its most brilliant exponents, know to their cost. Such a quaint misapprehension, plus the "crook" addition and the reference to "play the game, you cads" (radio fans will know where that came from—it should have had quote marks in the par) would mislead a gentleman of the old school - who, last evening, insisted on remain* ing anonymou"