POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXII, Issue 106, 31 October 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comnient

Bt Percy Flage.

Revenue may be buoyant, but the taxpayer still nurses th-at sinking feeling. * * * It is to be hoped that Mr. IV. J. Broadfoot, M.P., will' mind his step when he goes' to 'the Coronation. *■. .-■*■- * • ~. ■■ So far as we remember,..the ; only money that doesn't talk . is . "hush" money. : ■ '.-.."'...' * * * ..".: It would go very much. against the grain, if the Federal Government, suddenly, ceased relief payments to itswheat growers.- , --. • - * * ♦. . Why not advertise for a leader of the National Party and give Sir Thomas a chance to apply for that interesting and pleasant job? - ... ■ * : # * ■': :' Goering says that ."Hitler does not eat butter or meat." May.be, but ht has been known to lunch on.a battle ship. ~ ■ ■■"'.'.■ ..'■ * ♦ # ' DINGBATS.;; ;/ By the way, item No, 2 in last Saturday's "School's In," states that a Leicestershire dealer has a two-headed calf which has three eyes, breathes .through four nostrils, and'drinks a, gallon of milk daily. If that is a record I* would like to point out that .once in my single days,, in the early .hours pi', a, Sunday morning after several wild nights. I distinctly saw, calmly perched on. the bed rail, a. .crayfish with .five.heads all crowned by-a toppah, each head also wearing a sardonic grin, arid play ■ ing "Abide With Me" on five separata saxophones. . ..-.-:' ' ' ' SIC TRANSIT—GLORIOUS ■-. :.MONDAY. » '• .♦'•■■'■'♦'■ " ' STALIN. If there is any truth in the yarn that Tovarish (Comrade) Stalin has a heart, these'things may in part account for that dilated member: He smokes'iricessantly, and always a pipe. At dinner he keeps his pipe lit next to his pla^ft and puffs between courses. -/He-is fond of alcohol, especially brandy, and-holds his liquor well. ■ By V the way, - the Soviet head does not seem to be overpaid. His salary is some 1000 roubles a month, the equivalent of which, outside -Russia, is about £7 3s 6d. -. But, fike Lord Nuffield, he has no,interest in money. He is about as emotional as a~ block of granite,-was five <■ times exiled by the Tsar's police, and; is. heavily guarded, though not conspicuously. *.. • *■'■.' ''■"* •;'■" :. ■/ BOUTS- RIMES. , . -.; Elsie J.—Room can be, spared; for only those bouts rimes which, while technically sound, disclose .the most imagination and- metrical- resource. ■> Better luck next time, and here are the rhyme-ends:— .-. ■■• .. ■. . . . . .-•'.-' racket. .-■ -. .■ . . . .: ■'.' plain--: . . . . . . . . jacket . . . . . . > .- rain .. ■. .'.-.. . ».- pleasing . ;■.■'-. . . ;■■ ."■ -report ' ... . . . ... sneezing . . ;-. • . . . • .--shorty- ■ " .:■ • # .: ■ ♦ ..'■.-. '*:'■ b?.i , SCHOOL'S IN., •';*:■ .. - Do you know r that:. •■■■' ■* " (1) Nikola Maslarevitch "(aged 99); and: Savka,'his-■ wife -(100),r? .recently celebrated their diamond-.wedding by, getting a divorce in Belgrade?. - ■ (2) Herbert-Plumridge,;a-baths attendant at Chertsey Council's pavilion, has effected 99 rescues. - from the Thames? . . •'.',..• ," ' (3) Among, the annual.'; consumption of beauty aids in .Britain are perfumed bath salts, 5,459,0001b; ■'. dentifrices, 0,740,0001b; face and skin creams, 2,672,0001b; and hair preparations, 6,237,0001b? .'..;. ;'..: (4) There is a wealthy 'American who glories in the possession of a. book beautifully bound in a tortured negro's skin?. ! . , (5) As long ago as 1745, in the reign of George 11, a husband was awarded £3000 damages against a man who ran away with his . Cthe husband's), wife? (6) In future, under instructions from the King, all servants of the. Jtoyal Household are to be retired on at 60 instead of 65? ~ '. :. ... (7) There is not. a widower. in the whole Bible, but with widows the scriptures are heavy laden?. - (8) For 41 years the shoe industry of Northampton has hot had a strike or lock out, and is proud of its unique record? (9) Youth hostels throughout Ger-' many last year provided a night's sleeping for 6,500,000 hikers? (10) All the King's horses for the Coronation next May will be Cleveland bays, once Britain's most fashionable horses? ■ ~ * . * * SHE WALKS IN BEAUTY. In reply to C. H. Elmes:' it was not Colonel Lovelace but Byron' who wrote those lines. Here' is the complete poem:— She. walks in 1 beauty, like the- night Of cloudless Climes and- starry skies, And all that's best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes, .Thus mellow'd to that tender -y- light Which Heaven to gaudy day denies. One shade the more, one ray the less, Had half impaired the nameless grace Which waves in every raven tress, Or softly lightens o'er her. face, Where thoughts serenely sweet express How pure, how dear their dwell-ing-place. . ."' And on that cheek and o'er'that brow So soft, so calm, yet eloquent, The smiles that win, the tints that glow But tefl of days in goodness spent, A mind at peace with all below, A heart whose love is innocent. * * * INQUIRY DEPARTMENT. "17/268."—Hitler's decree extending the period of service in the German army, navy, and air force from one year-to two raised Germany's\standing army to 1,000,000, excluding labour corps, Storm Troopers, etc. Here are the latest figures showing, how. the European Powers have added *to their armies since the beginning of the year: January, August, 1936. 1936. "Reg. Army) 190,985 , 2f3,000 Russia 940,000 , 1,300,000 Italy ....; 390,000 1,250,000 France 480,000 ,634,000 . Poland 212,000 '273,000 Austria 65,000 70.000 "Rip" ley Jun."—We have no recor? of lions having been transported by aeroplane but a racehorse was flown from stables in the North of England to take part in an importint race in the South. It duly won, foo. Norman S. Biichanah-Biillie.^-As it is a no-trump declaration, B. must exhaust his suit cards before playing the joker. ,' ' " '"" . . "Scottie" (Karori).—The portrait is that of his own son. " ■ "Bull-dog Hammond."—Uncle Sam's gold hoard is worth' about £2,150,000.000. Most of it is to be stored in a fortress now biilding at Fort Knox, Kentucky.-: ' •