POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXI, Issue 68, 20 March 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Perct Flace.

Paris reports that Abyssinia refuses direct negotiations with Italy. It is manners to wait till Italy asks you, brother. « # # It is possible the vociferous Frankfurters thought that the Fuhrer 'isked them if they wanted to bury the hatchet in France. » « * T.P. —May I join forces with "Waiokura" against the stranger who "began to declaim at considerable length on the backwardness of New Zealand methods of farming, especially dairying." How dairy! •X- * • WISECRACKS. Rose Marie: — A band on a wrist is, oft a relief, but a handcuff, I fear, oft brings one to grief. There's absolute bliss in a ring on one's digit, but a whitlow at work makes the saintliest fidget. ■sf * ■ * . > A METHODICAL QUEEN. Talking of Royal obsequies: "Silat K." writes in to say that Queen Victoria had arranged, in a packet left at the Home Office, every particular of the last ceremonies with the greatest care.' Her reason for selecting a military funeral was that she was a soldier's daughter, as well as the head of the Army. She had not overlooked the programme of music for the occasion; and detailed instructions were left as to the apparel for the last rites, and even the rings to be placed upon her fingers. • • • GRATITUDE. Here Is a story that may take yout mind off more profound matters. Some time ago in Baluchistan tht British erected a telegraph line. It was a difficult and tiresome job, for the country is both hot and tree* Those who had worked hard expected some thanks from the natives whom they were serving, and, sure enough, they got it ~ .. A resolution was framed by all th« local chieftains expressing their appreciation of "the grateful shade cast b/ the telegraph poles^ along the road. OILY ETHIOPIANS. Noted for their primitive craftiness, Ethiopian troops last month turned up the neatest military stunt of the war to date. Separating six Italian tanks from the infantry, they rushed up and tossed gasoline upon then.. Then they set them afire. The Italians inside, already stifling with tha heat, leaped out to surrender. "We do not fear tanks," said Wolde Giorgis^who thought up the idea overlooked by~ Europe in the World War. "Once we s are near them, they are lost. Ethiopians found an equal liking for Italian trucks, which they captured in large numbers on a different front after massacring their occupants. «• # * NEW USE FOR VERSE. Dear Flage-Greetings after a long absence Your sub-leader of a lew days ago made mention of a new use Jor jingles-writing to Commissioner of Taxes. Dear Mr. Commish, it is my great AndTeal'ly I.hope you will praise it. That you'll give me tune—considrable time— . .. To cough up my tax-I can t raise it. The facts of the case, and these you must face, Are varied and listed as follows. I've kids twenty-five, but only on« wife, And life consists mainly of sorrows. The cow had a fit, and fell down a And Psomehow its milk all went bit. ter The pig went and died, the cat went and tried All records to break in one litter. The kitchen sink blocked, and all th« kids mocked My efforts to remedy trouble, I trod on a rake, I fell in the lake. And came a dull crash on a double. And so, dear old thing, my luck'f taken wing; ' To you I appeal as the claimant. So be a good sport, by first mail report i That next year will do for the payment. The said official is stated to hay» replied in kind: Dear Sir or Madam, as the case may. be, I have to acknowledge yours of March 23, I have to advise that your awkward situation Has carefully received my full consideration, And I'm happy to inform you, though I really shouldn't be, That you needn't pay your taxes until nineteen forty-three. To which (probably) something lik» the following would be received: Commish. (hie!) good day, I jush wanna shay That I got your ole letter orlright, Came this a.m. and ever since then I've been gettin' a li'l bit tite. " I didn* eshpect, no I didn' eshpect, That you'd be shush a shport as you are, But take it as spoke, you're a reg'lar bloke, An' the best li'l tax man that ever laid an egg. P.S.: That last li'l old line seems to have hiccups a bit. Must 'aye swallered an iambic or two. PUNKA, •' ♦ # FOR POINT-DUTY MEN. Here's news calculated to make our energetic and patient point-duty officials a trifle envious. It takes the form of a letter from Athens to a London weekly. The correspondent writes:—Who would not be a pointduty policeman in Athens on New Year's Eve? Motoring at midday past a busy four-cross roads, I noticed the policeman on duty looked extra smart, wearing his ceremonious white cap, white gloves, and white "Sam Brown" with his grey uniform. And then I saw that the base of the little wooden platform on which he stands was heaped with gifts—parcels of all shapes and sizes, boxes of sweets and cakes, hampers containing doubtless more solid fare, cigarettes, bottles of local brandy, wine and ouzo, and even the gilt tops and sloping shoulders of three champagne bottles! It was explained to me that the men on point-duty form a very special little group drawn from the town police (and their job at "rush" hours, trying to keep order among the streams of traffic with car-drivers who are only just beginning to learn road manners and road discipline, is no sinecure!), and the gifts showered on them at various points of the town are offerings from grateful motorists. Every gift bears a card with the name of the donor and the number of his or her car. , The gifts are all pooled and shared out among the point-duty meru Well, tomorrow my, car's gift will b# added to the-pilev