POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXX, Issue 1, 1 July 1935, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Commtnl

B* PERCY FLAGB

So far! the Disarmament Conference has disarmed nothing—not even suspicion. In a duel in Paris M. Chiappe wounded M. Godin in the leg. Hitting below the belt. It certainly helps to modify that sinking feeling to know that we have got rid of the whole of our floating debt. . ' : Unlike most other pugilists if Max Baer's ring earnings fade away lie should now be sure of at least three meals per diem. •* . • Reported that Crawford's tennis game is patchy. Well, he is-sure to get a stitch or two if he meets Perry. He may even get "sewn up." ® i *•* -aSANTA CLAUS MYSTERY. . It is reported that there is a certain mystery about the functions of the postmaster of Santa Claus (Indiana) who lately died. His postmark was highly prized in the nurseries of the U.S.A. around December 25', each year, and we are informed that "to ease the financial strain oh him Congress raised his poslmastership from the fifth to the' third class." But what did he do for the rest of the year? * * * . , RATS! A speaker at the meeting of the Karori Progressive Association last week said that the rats from the tip in Chaytor Street would become a menace to .Karori if they were not tackled. Well, it may be true that efforts to "collar them low" have so far been fruitless, but when one surveys the terrain about the dump it would appear that the rodents would have to become.1 mountaineers to. be a menace to their human neighbours. What is more to the point is whether the rats use the nearby Karori reservoir as a place for holding swimming races. The high divers amongst them would have a joyous time with the cliffs on either side. ' ' _ . ... % OMADHAUN. ■'INQUIRY'DEPARTMENT. T.R.M. (Masterton): It is not a.fact that England has the power to prevent drastic developments by closing the Suez Canal to movement of troops. The use of the canal is governed by a convention signed in Constantinople by England, Germany, Austria, Spain, France, Italy, Holland, Russia, and Turkey. Clause 1 of the treaty states that: "The Suez Canal will always be free and open, .both in war and peace, to the merchant ships and warships of all nations. In consequence, the high contracting parties agree to place no obstacle to the free use of the canal in war or in peace., The canal will never be subjected to operation of the right of blockade." Thus, if Italy wishes to land troops and munitions .by the back door into Italian Somaliland she is fret to use the canal. '. « : -■ « ■« SIR ABE BAILEY. As you no doubt have remarked, Sir Abe Bailey, millionaire-Turf magnate, is having a spectacular, run of good luck with his horses. "Racing goes like that for the big owners. It may h> terest readers to hear that Sir Abe— "vqt are you vaiting for, now?"—owes his millions to a game of cricket—in a way. • He had made and lost a fortune before he-was 21. By the tune he was 24 he had amassed another £150,000, and then- he dropped that. So ha decided to go to Australia and start again. But—as he tells the story himself—he was a cricket enthusiast, and so would not sail till after the annual match between Cape Colony and Natal. He was playing for the Cape, and, afterhaving purchased his steamer ticket, had twenty-two shillings left. A friend said to him: "I'll give you '£40 if you make 40 runs." He made 80 in the first innings and 41 in the second. Natal needed only 56 to win, with eight wickets to fall. Abe took the next eight wickets for 27. This snap victory caused so much enthusiasm in. Cape Town that a subscription was raised for the hero. It realised £220, V/ith that capital, he stayed home, and laid the foundations of his present fortune, . ; ■ -::■■■._«:- * HOW TO BE HAPPY. ' ' [■ Take a plot of garden ground, With .a wire-net fence; Gate that opens with a swing. Freely to go hence. Then within your\ netted fence Plant a row of trees; You can have no end of fun. Simply choosing these— How to plant, and how to grow, Shelter, shade, and all; With what joy you watch your trees, Rising straight and tall! Now your plot of garden ground Is your happy care; Half with vegetables filled,' Half with flowers fair. Good potatoes you must grow, Carrots, parsnips' long, Cabbages and artichokes, Onions stout arid strong. : _ . . See, beyond your wall of herbs, See your pansics smile! Trim your roses, plant y«ir bulbs, Is it not worth while? That's how Eve and Adam lived,. Ere their sad mistake; And, in all our lovely land, There is not one snake. A. ' ■::- -:t •::- NIPPON BUSINESS "ENGLISH." The English visitor to Japan will b« struck by the quaint efforts of the Japanese traders to solicit hi* custom. It would almost appear as if the Japanese tradesmen regard a smattering of English as evidence of culture and social distinction. Even the experts of the Milk Marketing Board would be bewildered by a Japanese signboax'd bearing the legend "miluk hole," "fullish milk," "fluish milk." "Miluk hole1' is intended for "milk hall," though why a seven-by-nine shop for the sale of dairy products should be called a "hall" I have never been-, able to ascertain, comments one visitor. "Fullislv* "fulish," and "fluish" are evidently attempts to spell phonetically the word "fresh" as it sounds to the Oriental ear. All sorts of drinks are described in Japanese-English as "nourishing."' A dealer in coffee, advertising his specialty in a daily newspaper, said, "More men is not get dropsy of the legs who use this coffee, which is contain nourish." Although this statement is somewhat ambiguous, the advertiser probably wants to say more people would escape "dropsy of the legs" if his nourishing coffee were more generally used. A Tokio druggist advertised for months in the local Press "invaluable, fragrant, and nice pills," and evidently expected people to take them as they would eat confectionery, because they were "fragrant arid nice." Among other signboards were those of the butcher who advertised "beef and hen-meat"; the milkman who meant to recommend "best fresh milk," : but solemnly assured hf.s patrons that [ "fresh milk is best," and the dairy farmer who called the establishment "squeeze outjpla.ee of the milk dealer,'* ■