POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Issue 19, 23 July 1934, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

Add similes: As relatively permanent as the Doumergue Cabinet. * • • Tho Australians had a field day 'on „ Saturday; the Englishmen a day in the field. " • " * . *■■■■: •■ Another wop against which oven * Coates planned.production would be helpless is last week's crop of chilblains. .■*-«• * Xarwood declares ho is not saying anything about anything. A pleasant change from saying too much about" next to nothing. * * * . i Mr. Forbes: Tho country was run all right when: Mr. Masters and I- were away at tho.World Economic Conference. Ah, but that was merely* fortunate coincidence! «■ # • » ' ■ . TBUESTOBY. Dear Flage,—My old home was in a« Otago mining township which -had boomed and bust. It waß an eight* roomed brick house faithfully built," well furnished, ana standing in amacro . of well-laid-out garden. The family had gradually left tho old home, and I was on a visit from Wellington and said to the old Scotch dad: "Why don't you sell this place? It's far too big for only you. and mother." Ho re< plied: "If I sold this house fully furnished I would bo lucky if I got five hundred pounds for it." "If this were in Wellington," I replied, "you would easily get two thousand." '"Yes, my boy. And if I had Loch Lomond ii hell I could sell it for a shilling * glass, "i NICOLAL --■ «■ -:;- 'AS OLD AS VANITY. "Honorino" (who e is learning tW wiles and ways of the beauty parlours) writes in: I didn'i know until I read this that our business was as old at original sin—almost. •' This is this— Although tho whole beauty movement; is supposed to be new it is, in fact, a large-scale reversion to ancient habits and tricks. Cosmetics were old when Tutankhamen was a baby. Tho. Egyptians were famed for them. A green lino drawn under the eyo was ono of their subtlo beauty marks. China from time immemorial painted the face as artistically as she painted-the mostj delicate fan and cultivated long, ' golden ningernails. India knew plastic surgery in ages past. Persia* women spent two-thirds of their timo anointing themselves with oils, grease, and pigments. , Both Greece and Borne pursued beauty culture when they, settled down to the flno arts of living and loafing. Lucian tells us that Bqman ladies squandered fortunes. ou Arabian unguents and spent hours at the baths boing beautified by the slaves. Athens and ; - Rome had buildings de« voted to m.ud or clay treatments. Beautifying began with mud. The new. ways are tho old ones, after all! **i ■ * PANICKY POLICEMEN. That is not tho first time John Dillin« ger's pursuers have run amuck among - tho wrong peoplo,' Very early in the chase a squad decided that Dillingor and his crew were "in smoke" on a certain third floor. Armed to the hips th» limbs ; of the law advanced-, and concentrated a. hot barrage on • tho hiding place. After a period of fierce gunning they rushed the refuge—only to find that they-had killed two men who bad not seen Dillinger in their lives, and wounded jtwo . others who'- produced a similar alibj. „ .No apologies were offered by tho police;ii.this case, primarily because 'tne casualties wore men with » criminal record/- Subsequent to this faux pas a." reputable citizen of lowa • was speeding merrily along a. country track when" bullets began to whizz about; hisj bus liko angry bees. In\his frantic. endeavour to got down unde< the front seat' and send the ear iato top the startled, driver ditched the outfit and crawled but of tho wreck with1 a fractured forearm—to faco a posse of panic 'd policemen, their nervous fingers still- jittering on the triggers. They had missed Dillingor again. FinalIy, this one: A young policeman of St. Paul, Minnesota, had his left arm shot off by an' extremely maladroit-colleaguo who accidentally discharged a sawedoff shotgun whilo they were both chasing hold-up men. The really tragic side of tho accident was that the injure* man was a fine saxophone- player! * * WANTED, A LEADER." ' Wanted, a leader staunch and true, With stubborn, nricrocosmic-view; Not ono with vision so warped . an 4 wide As c'en to,see an opponent's side; And ponder with judicial mind >t Things obvious to all mankind. " " Can one whoso nature plays such trici* E'er lead in party politics? Send us a leader strong and boH, .Who dares to do what he is told; Whose conscience is his sovereign guiS< Except whon party claims o'erride; ' One skilled to plumb the public mind, And learn which way his own's indined; Whilo with a hold as strong as death Ho grasps each time-worn shibboleth* K. JJP. ,* ■» • • ' < HOWITZEK'' BROADCASTS. Well, ladies and gennolmen, Hutt won because Lilburne was tboro all the time. The score was easy for those who> are figure experts. Saturday was July 21; 14+7=21. Elementary, my dear Watson. " ' Ono Sweot' Young Thing, as McLean was leaving tho field: "The strings of his boudoir cap must be too tight." O'Connor has all tho makings of & politician: ho is tho champion contortionist of the season.. His potted goal .reminded one of the Nicholls Bros, when they played tho same trick on Mariat at tho ovrl about six years ago, but the • bluos won on that occasion. Bill Peck was bnttered and bespattered, but not beaten. He is one" of the old school, though not' tho very old school when they playod through a gamo with a broken leg. Ned Barry showed his pacos liko a. real AH Black, No doubt his old club* mates duly congratulated him. Let's hope that P.C. Barry will bo back for the Police v. P. and T.—the latter Department could have him mailed by ' special registered letter. Hutt will miss their pilot in the race up tho straight with Old Boys. Answers to, correspondents.—(l) We aro unable to say whether Hutt half Spencer is a relation of Bill, Jack, and George. No doubt <a note addressed to Mr. Spencer, Wellington South, would bring the required information. (3) No information as to what'has become of the Evans, but feel sure that a line to Mr. Eyan, Potono, will bring full dotails' of the movements of Bill, Jim, Mick, and Eddie. (3) Neither of the Eoberts boys of Hutt is a brother of Fred, Harry, or Teddy. (4) We- thank you, but have no desire to enter tho struggle at tho moment. We feel that the experts now choosing tho best All Black fifteen of all time will satisfy all the critics. Met a. number of those retiring Aussies yesterday, but after the seventh had to ictorl that we had heard tbat