A REFORMATION.

Evening Post, Volume LXXIX, Issue 66, 19 March 1910, Page 10

A REFORMATION.

"I think all men need the reforming influence of a good wife," 6he said, as she accepted the third pastry. "Why reforming?" he asked, popping a cocoa-nut biscuit in his mouth as if he were taking a pill. She looked up at him in a fond manner, and helped herself to another cup of tea. "Oh, you men are such raw, unfinished beings until we women have taken you in hand and made a> finished article of you. Do you know I think the Suffragists would be doing a grand work in the wo>ld if they only undertook to reform your men instead of crying out for a silly vote." "I prefer to grant them tlie vote ; and I think I am speaking for the bulk of my fellow - countrymen," he replied, with a merry smile on ,his face. "Believe me, the reformation would bo an unconscious one." She thanked him and accepted another pastry. "It generally is," he answered : "you women are so confoundedly clover — with men." "Quite so, and you men are so absurdly foolish with women." "Exactly," ho replied, "men are so absurdly foolish with women that they grant them all their own way. Instead of showing them that they are the stronger sex, they give into their ,littlo fads and fancies to such a large extent that women think they are reforming them. Tut, tut, my dear young lady, don't you believe it! Now take the case of my old friend, Jenkins. He was really quite a decent chap before he was foolish enough to get married. You could always rely on him to make up a four at cards ; he was ever ready for a little dinner party. At a dam* he was the pride of all the ladies, and the best story teller in tho smokeroom. "If you wanted a game of golf, you had only to ring up Jenkine on the phone, and he would make an appointment at once. Get him in your •ooms on a winter's evening, give him tho run of the decanter, a pipe of your choice tobacco, allow him to plank his feet on the mantlepiece, and tie would be the most cheery man on this green earth. And supposing you were hard up, as all bachelors are, he would be the first man to be willing to lend you a sovereign. Now look at him sincehe has been married, und under the reforming influence of a good woman. Has she improved him? Not a bit of it ! Ask him to come round and make up a- four nt cards, and what does he say? Why, that his wife is all alone and does not care to be left. Suggest a little dinner party to him, and he regrets that circumstances will not allow him to be late that evening. As for dancing? Why, he has not been to one since he got married ; seems to look upon it as a pastime suitable only for girls anxious to find husbands, and men with nothing to do. "The last story I told him, he remarked that it was not exactly the sort of yarn he would care to tell his wife. The funny part about it was he told the story himself some few years previously. "He certainly plays golf, but he plays with his wife, and sho is a beginner! She may have reformed his language when playing, but she has not improved his golf. It seems ages since he came to my rooms and spent a quiet bachelor evening. When he did, ne talked all the time about his baby, and his little patch of garden. Do you call that reforming his conversational powers? What on earth do I care about his baby ; it's a very ordinary specimen and' a girl. I have not the slightest interest in his little cabbage patch, jet for nearly an hour he bored me with details as to how he was goinj; to make the middle bed next sum me*. "Lastly, you might just as well ask a workhouse inmate to grant you a loan as request him to lend you a trifle. No, no ; you ladies are very sweet and very charming, but when it comes to reforming men, then I think yoa oveido it. Being a bachelor, 1 think you spoil a good thing." He took a cigarette out of his case, and lighting it blew a cloud of smoke up towards the ceiling, watching it form pretty little circles. She looked across at him and burst out laughing. "I think you are just a horribly seliisb old bachelor . I pity the poor girl who undertakes to reform you. I wouldn't do it for a pension." "Do you think any girl could accomplish such a good work?" ho asked. "More, do you think any girl would try?" "I not only think that some girl could, but I believe some girl will try," she answered. "She'll have a busy time," he replied. As they walked out of the tea shop, he thought how very pretty she looked, and commented on the fact to me. 1 could not help smiling when I saw him adjust his tie in front of a mirror; for he was naturally rathei untidy. The reformation had started. I met him com in gout of the station one evening, two years later. "Are you on for a round of golf on Saturday?" I asked. Ho hesitated a moment. "Well, the fact is I'm taking my wife round that day ; she's a beginner, you know." Wo wulked on in silence. "I'm dining with Butcher on Friday ; why don't you join us?" I said. "Oh, dinners are not mucb in thy line now,." he replied. "You see it makes it so abominably lonely for tho wife." "Ah, quito to, quite so," I commented. At the corner, he invited me io come and have a little informal dinner with them. I thanked him, and accepted. Tho little lady of tho tea ahop conversation made mo very welcome. After dinner we adjourned into the drawing-room for a little music 'if you don't mind, old chap," he whispered, "we won't smoke here. Of course, bless her, she wouldn't object ; but the curtains are clean !" 1 expressed my full agreement with the sentiment, and lovingly fondled my pipe. ... in my pocket. "By the way, dear, I suppose baby is asleep?" he remarked, turning towards his wife. "Pray don't disturb lier ! I can see her another day," I exclaimed, rather hurriedly. "We had Jenkins and his wife in to dinner last week," he remarked. "What a wpnderful change has taken place in hint ; much improved ; more serious outlook on life." I fully endorsed his opinion of Jenkins's regeneration. I wished my hostess good evening, and he accompanied me into the hall. "Come round one afternoon and see the garden," ne said ; "it's the finest in the road, and next summer it will look simply beautiful. I should like to ask you for an opinion on the middle bed." When I walked up the road, I wondered what he would have said if I had asked him for a loan? I had not dared, as the reformation struck me as being fairly complete. — Munchester Chronicle.