PARS ABOUT PEOPLE
Observer, Rōrahi XXXIX, Putanga 10, 9 Whiringa-ā-rangi 1918, Page 4
PARS ABOUT PEOPLE
THE 0.8. E.
MANY patriotic bodies are insisting on the withdrawal of the Order British Empire. It is asserted that it has not been awarded according to merit, but in most cases through "political pull."— News item. McSnavle he sold his P-U.B. For a F.O.R.T.U.N.E. Then the blighter went out and voted "cold tea," And (strike me) they made HIM an 0.8. E. A bloke joined the" flying corps, you see, And every night in a P.U.B. He went on a fly with an ex-M-P., And (blime) they made HIM an 0.8. E. War profits made Pinchem F.A.T., And out of his tons of L.S.D. He gave one pound to the French R.C, And (arf a mo, digger), now lemesee? He had a willin' old employee Who came back minus a L.E.G-; Said Pinchem, "Soldier, you're no use to me," And (I'm damned) they made HIM an OiB.E. A Digger came home from France recently Plain Private McThistle, M.M., V.C; And though he'd no pull with, the local M.P., His cobbers stepped Tip and made Mac. F.O-B. "Kaka," in Featherston " Camp Weekly." ®> © ® There died at Lower Hutt recently a brilliant old gentleman, Mr C. W. Adams, formerly Chief Surveyor and Crown Lands Commissioner for Marlborough. He was a man of singular attainment, full of wisdom and science, a charming, unconventional and interesting personality. It is not always that a man of great attainments is the father of a family each of whom are undeniably clever. Among his sons one, Arthur, a poet and journalist of marked ability, successively literateur in London, assistant' editor of Wellington "Times," editor of the "Bulletin 'Red Page'," editor of "Lone Hand" and now of the "Daily Telegraph" (Sydney) editorial staff. "Arthur has written books, plays and poems of great excellence and won £100 for producing an exceedingly poor Australian National Anthem. Mr C. E. Adams, another son, is one believes, the Wellington surveyor and gifted in his calling, and one, perhaps it is "G.G.", was director of School of Mines and held that iob at Thames. "King" Adams is a district judge in India. Cecil is in N.S.W. The only daughter is Mrs J. E- D. Spicer, of Auckland. This is probably the lady who has a great aptitude in painting N.Z. flora the work showing unusual individuality and. skill. @ ® . ® Mr J- Vigor Brown, Napier's "man with the white hat," lately asked in the House if it had not been arranged that the Hon. Arthur M. Myers was to be knighted. Mr Massev "protested," but why does not appear. He did not deny the soft impeachment and why anybody should get in a stew because a tician is likely to be knighted beats the band. Dear old Speaker Lang told the White Hat he ought not to
make his questions unduly personal, although how White Hat could refer to Mr Myers' possible knighthood without naming Mr Myers, the standing orders of the Constitution do not say. It wouldn't be a catastrophe if all the Ministry were knighted. As the Premier did not deny the projected knighting of Mr Myers—arise "Sir Arthur" by all means. ® # ® The hectic hunt for six and eightpences and the valiant charges of "casta" seem to be excellent training for senior soldiering. New Zealand lawyer soldiers have done magnificently, and have, with characteristic impetuosity, made Fritz pay. Of seven commanding officers in the
Wellington Regiment of- the New Zealand Expeditionary Force six have been barristers and solicitors. Lieutenant-Colonel C H. Weston, D.S.O;, who commanded the 3rd Battalion of the regiment until he was wounded at Passchendaele in October, 1917, has written a book on the war, "Three Years with the New Zealanders/' which is to be published shortly in England. Lieutenant-Colonel Weston is Crown Prosecutor for the Taranaki district in N.Z-, and is a graduate of the New Zealand University. The six officers referred to are: Brigadier- General H. Hart, of Carterton ; Lieutenant-Colonel W. G. Malone, of Stratford (killed at Gailipoli); Lieutenant-Colonel W. H. Cunningham, of Wanganui; Lieutenant-Col. C. F- Cook, of Marton; Lieutenant- Colonel C. H. Weston, of New Plymouth; and Lieutenant-Colonel H. Holdeniess, of -Hastings. beside these gallant and distinguished
officers the New Zealand bar •supplies details of the "Devil's Own," who harangue the Appeal Boards, hoping to prevent men from serving the King. Even among lawyers there's a difference. • ® ® The French, unlike the people of some other nations, do not pretend that a man is a brainless ass because he happens to be an enemy. A French General says this of Ludendorff: — His head has all the marks of a quick and alert intelligence of a quick wit, and a spontaneity which is in remarkable contrast with the heavy and ponderous Hindenburg. Ludendorff is inclined to corpulency, and is below middle height, but his face, figure and bearing are impressive,
giving the idea of a man of immense energy, in full physical and mental vigour and perfectly sure of himself. He has had a rapid and brilliant career, displacing many of his seniors. From the time of his attachment to Hindenburg's army he has counted a series of victories—commencing with the Mazurian Lakes. A merciless foe, most difficult and dangerous, without his wonderful combination of talents the war moist haVe ended long ago. The ruthless Ludendorff is to the Hun what the implacable Foch is to the Allies. © © © "Corporal Smiler" writes: Mr. "Tommy" Michaels and Mrs. Michaels, who with their two soldier sons, returned to Now Zealand recentl s did much war work in London during the past two years. They were members of the _ new Zealand colony in London, which have done
» such splendid service for our boys on ► leave from France or camp. j "Tommy" used to go to a port of y disembarkation and meet the "diggers" as they came over from the trenches with full pack up and tin hat complete, and with the mud of . Flanders still on their uniforms and j boots. Most of the "diggers" made direct for the "Big Smoke," had 1 their pay books audited, and drew 1 cash as a preliminary to 14 days in Blighty. After the visit to Headquarters they were taken to the N.Z. Soldiers' Club in Russell Square, where a transformation was effected, the mud of Flanders being removed from skin and clothes, hair trimmed and hat pressed, the "digger" passing from an eye-strained, muddy man of the line to that debonair type of soldier, the distinctiveness of which has so often been Remarked upon by English writers. Mrs. Michaels was one of the gallant band of volunteer workers at the Russell Square Club, who mothered our ' fighting men when they came across from France, and who carried on in spite of almost nightly air-raids and starvation rations. When food conditions were bad in London last winter, and the new rationing scale came into force, it was heartbreaking for those ladies to have to weigh every scrap of meat served out to boys who had been living on "Fray Bentos" and army biscuits. The English food regulations only permitted 2oz. of lean meat to be served per man per meal- The civilian ration was much less, than that quantity. The work of the band of ladies of whom Mrs. Michaels was one has been greatly appreciated by the boys. ® @> ® "Justice" writes: Six verses by Rudyard Kipling have been cabled all over the Empire by the Propaganda Department of the British Government.' Killing was evidently ordered to give birth to this, the tritest tripe ever chopped into unequal lengths. There isn't the glimmer of a new idea, a useful thought, a suggestion of genius, in the whole forty-eight lines. The verses don't make you laugh or cry or want to fight, or surrender or anything. Their meaning is as obscure .as a politician's speech or an accident parin a daily paper. Kipling is the chap who wrote "The Recessional," a moving singable thing. He gave us "Mandalay" and "Gunga Din," and "East and West," and plenty of splendid measured profanities which were not poetry, but which still had kick and punch and notion in them. In this dreadful "Justice" he appears to have been ordered to write something for a thousand pounds at the point of the bayonet, collected a lot of trite phrases and commonplace words, shook 'em up together, and threw them on paper. "Justice," which is cabled to New Zealand to make us hate the Germans, is as inspiring as a wet bag in a coal cellar. Shouldn't wonder if Kipling will not be the next Laureate. How's this bit for immortal splurge:— Or else all else is vain Since life on earth began, And the spent world sinks back again, Hopeless of God and man. ®® - $ "Old Contemptible" writes: That great Imperialist, Mr. Massey, always has a heart bleeding for the soldiers. His latest suggestion is that Anzac troops shall be immured in Turkish fortresses, or, in other words, that after three or four years' hard fighting the privilege of living in barracks on the top of rocks, gazing out on the scrub and fighting influenza, shall be. theirs. Mr. Massey calls this out as if he were handing a V.C. or a packet of "Woodbines" to every soldier, but what he is really handing out—suppose the HiglvCommand of the British Army listens to him—is imprisonment with heavy exercise every day. I suppose there will be some formality of occupation of these forts, but the occupation won't be any more important from a defence point of view that the occupation
of Rangitoto or the patrol of Watchman Island. If the Turkish forts have to be occupied fresh young gentlemen who like Gailipoli and other picture cemeteries might be given the inestimablf privilege. * • • .• I don't know any Anzac who wants to play around on Gailipoli any more. The occupation of Turkish forts is, I take it, hardly a matter for Wellington; still, if a politician can get an advertisement out of imprisoning war-worn soldiers in forts —by all means let him have the ad. A point that Mr. Massey appears to have overlooked, despite his knowledge of military dispositions, is that all the New Zealand troops in the vicinity are either mounted rifles or camel corps men. May one hope to hear of the novel spectacle of a New Zealand soldier mounted on an "oont" patrolling the gunpits of our ex-enemy, and mounted riflemen putting in ten hours a day swatting "guns" they will never use and don't, want to. ® ® ® Little Doctor Newman, M.P., is the man who said that the Government is doomed or that "the writing is on the wall." Dr. Newman has always been amusingly frank. He never did take politicians seriously, and he is the least serious of politicians himself. Plenty of yarns about him, two of which are worth repetition. He visited Porirua Mental Hospital once, and found himself strolling along a path when Napolean, or Marcus Agrippa, or a tired pancake sprang out of a bush and chased him- The doctor is a great sport, and life is sweet. He doubled up%his little fists, and sent his little legs' spinning at a 9secs. gait. After being chased for two hours 35 Brss. Napolean drove him into a corner, and with a beaming smile tapped hiin oh the shoulder and said "tig." Recovering from the shockj he inspected some pick and shovel operations, and found the patients working
well. One, however, wheeled his empty barrow upside down. The doctor reproached him gently. "You ought to wheel your barrow the other way up, old chap," he said. "Aurelius Caesar" looked at the doctor pityingly. "I did it yesterday, and the warder piled it with dirt," he said. • ® ® <© • The Hon. W. C. F. Carncross, the nimble little gentleman who is now Speaker of the Upper House, is he who had the honour of going to France with Mr C. J. Parr, C.M.G., and other eminents. He is a newspaper man by profession, and has disturbed the thunder of the Eltham "Argus" for many years, a little sheet popularly supposed to be a mass of political "scoops." Walter is a Bendigonian. but it's so long ago he forgets where the first nugget was found. Last century he went to Dunedin, and later, bought the Taieri "Advocate"—a newspapper being one of the most approved methods of carving one's way to political eminence. For four successive terms he was M.P. for Taieri, and it was obvious that when he retired a man of such utility would have to be brought back to the fold. So his little pointed beard and twinkling eyes look out of Mr. Speaker's chair in the dear old Home for gentlemen of maturity. For a short time in the years agone Mr. Carncross became a managing director of Wellington "Times-" « ®. <B / Frank Towsey has gone West. The genial mine host of the Waverley was not always engaged in such palatial and luxurious quarters. He came out in a "windjammer," and was at one time a steward in the employ of the Union Steamship Co., and afterwards came ashore and commenced business in Lower Queen Street, and later in The Dive, the entrance to which was situated, as all old Ancklanders know, alongside Avhat is now the new entrance to
the Imperial Hotel. Mention of The Dive under Frank's management conjures up "memories of many • a good meal. Ten or twelve years ago one could obtain a liberal helping of undercut steak with a dressing of oysters for Is. at this famous eating house- The quality of Frank's menu was evon mentioned in Supreme Court proceedings. After he disposed of The Dive, and took over the management of the dining room at the Wave.rley Hotel the quality of the meals again made a name for the house. Frank's genial smile and greeting will be sadly missed by all his friends, new and old. © © © Corporal "Smiler" writes: A braver soldier never looked through the sights of a rifle—or over a pair of boxing gloves—than Private R. Conway, M.M., who returned to New Zealand in a recent draft. In prewar days he was one of Auckland's gamest bantams, and his contests with the late Harry Gilchrist always attracted much attention. A sergeant to whose platoon Conway was attached during the Passchendaele affair last year said he never saw a cooler lad under fire or in action. On long route marches he used to carry his 601b pack, as easily us the stronger "digger." After the Passchendaele attack he was detailed for duty under Dick Travis, V.C, and was one of his famous band of raiders. As a matter of fact, the shell which killed Dick Travis woun-* ded Conway, and eventually caused his return to the Dominion. © © © The King profession is one that few parents would care to bring their boys up to nowadays. In the past few years it has been a thankless job- First of all, China threw off its royal robes, sacked the King, and became a Republic—one of the unthinkable things of the world. Then Portugal quarrelled with Manoel, and biffed him off the golden chair. Then war broke out and kings were two for a penny. The old Austrian Emperor foozled along for a bit, then died, and left the last Per- Hapsburg to run the dreadful show. Constantine of Greece wobbled like a jelly on his throne. Nikolas of Russia was Bolsheviked, and later
murdered, and a few brace of other monarchs, including W. Hohenzollern,, must they never see even half a crown. Statesmen and generals and presidents have bobbed on to, the top of the heap and off again, like figures in a marionette .showbut the King industry has shown the greatest decline of all. King George V. of England is, in fact, the only monarch whose position is stable in the great whirl of Kings. ©' © © Funny thing that when a civil servant is bursting with something to say he has to "chuck his job" to say it. For instance, Mr. J. H. Watt has been glued to the War Expenses* Branch among the fed tapeworms for quite a long time. He took part in a recent by-election and "got a blast" (as they say in the classics) from the heads. So he decided to cut adrift, probably desiring to say something in public, and was sent on his way rejoicing with a purse of sovereign's and some books. The ex-civil servant is to be organiser-secretary to the Waikato Centre of the P.P.A. —and you bet that isn't a silent organisation I © © © "Movie Maniac" writes: For hygiene on a strictly business basis, the arrangement that only people over 14 shall be permitted to catch "flu" in a picture theatre is an amazing combination of municipal organisafr tion and business philantrophy. The parent is permitted under this truly beautiful arrangement to remove what germs are lying around to his home, on the ground that if you didn't disseminate germs the people employed by picture show firms would be out of a job. The picture people have, apparently not been without a fair modicum of cash in the near past, and if they were the bit of hygienic stuff they pretend to be they'd close the shows and pay the hands while they are closed. The authorities advise that no public meetings in daylighted halls be held, and rule that halls wherein there is no sunlight or daylight shall remain open for the propagation of disease?. Only people over 14 years of age are entitled to cinematographic influenza. It beats Banagher.