PARS AROUT PEOPLE

Will Mr Yates, husband of the newly-elected Mayor of Onehunga, be styled the Mady-Mayoress ' now ? Mr W. O'Regan, the member elect for Inangahua, is the youngest man in the new Parliament. He is only 25 years of age. Hon. W. McCullough has left for England. It is whispered in well-informed circles that he is to fee knighted. The Honorable "William will meet the Honorable Patrick at Cork. J. P. Campbell, late of Auckland' and now of Wellington, is settling down to a life of activity on the bowling green, whenever he seeks a respite from the pursuit of six-and-eightpenee. ' Obadiah the Scribe ' is in great feather just now. He claims to have '' tipped ' the positions of the whole of the candidates for Auckland City correctly, and is clamouring daily for that five shillings and the free pass to the North Shore. Huddart, Parker and Co. are making the Union Steamship Co. sit np again. The Tasmania is a larger boat than the Maiaroa, and her first passage of 4 days 5 hours is just as fast as people want. Let us hope that other boats will be placed on the trade. Mr Alfred de Bathe Brandon, the new Mayor of Wellington, is a native of the city, a lawyer by profession, and captain of the Wellington Rifles now about to be disbanded. He captained the Auckland marksmen last year when they won the volley-firing match at Trentham. Tt will be remembered that they subsequently presented him with a shield of their photographs. The death of Miss Grace Pearce, the only child of Mr and Mrs W. H. Pearce, which took place on Sunday evening, was- very sudden. The deceased young lady was at the Athletic Sports only a week previous, and was in town several days before her death, which was caused by peritonitis. Deep sympathy is expressed on all sides with the bereaved parents. 'KobiDSon Crusoe' has hit upon a novel idea. He proposes that tenders be called at once for a new town hall for Auckland, and that postal notes be used to pay the cost. But we wonder how the taxpayers in the South would receive a proposition that they should be taxed to provide a town hall for Auckland. It would be no more acceptable to them than the gigantic job that is being worked for the Midland Kailway Company is for us. Cabled that Marquis of Donegal, being unable to settle his tailor's little bill, claimed exemption on the ground that he was a peer. In . the case of a less exalted personage, the Marquis's little game would be called by a v«ry ugly name. However, if the noble debtor doesn't pay up within two months, he is to go to gaol. Let us drop the sympathetic tear ! A peer of the realm sent to goal. Sad, sad indeed. We trust if the Marquis elects ' to take it out' his gaolers will endeavour to make him as comfortable as possible. Bishop Julius, speaking at Christchurch the other night, defined a pauper as a man who relied upon others to keep him up. ' Paupers,' he said, ' are found in all classes of Bociety. The man who loafs on his rich relations is a pauper. The man depending on some great man's influence for his advancement in life is a pauper. The man who was too lazy to dig and too proud to beg and who said : "I must go f or a seat in Parliament" — that man was a pauper. Those men who instead of helping themselves looked to the Government to do everything for them were also becoming paupers.' That's the sort of - - sermon ! Charlie Taylor, of the Taylor-Car-rington Company, tells a good story abont an up-country experience in Victoria. The show was disturbed one night by larrikins. The Sergeant of Police immediately walked up to the ringleader, lifted him to his feet, spun him round, and then giving him one kick sent him flying through the doorway and half acrosß the road. In a few seconds - -h&s>resented himself at the. door, and addressing the ticket-taker said : ' Say boss, ■when I went out just now you didn't give „ v .me v aj,pasß.. r Can I^ass iaj" His. cheek 1 'He^was re-adn%tted, aijd for the rest of the evening * behaved ' himself.

Chang, . the dead giant, married a Melbourne girl. Harry Christopher, late of Auckland, is just now lending a hand to grace the boulevards of Wellington with his presence. The father ot Miss Cavanagh, the girl who was tomahawked by Glasson, threatens legal proceedings against anyone exhibiting or selling photos of the dead girl. Hon. Mr Ward would have come to Auckland and spoken before the electors if he had known the Liberal ' ticket ' was in danger. But more than that would have been necessary to avert the defeat. Miss Florence Masters, who has just made her debut upon the dramatic stage in Auckland, is a clever little lady of twelve who promises to develop considerable talent in the profession which she has chosen for her own. Speaking ons the liquor question at Eketahuna the other night, Mr Harkness remarked that if people would drink, he would compel publicans to supply them with good grog and good beer, 'lhat would.be true reform. A party by the name of Smith wrote to the Carterton (Wairarapa) paper the other day to say he was not the Eketahuna murderer. Nothing like putting yourself right with the public and i avoiding unpleasant mistakes. Tommy Spurgeon is no believer in ' berlue berlud.' It's" absurd for any man ito boast of his ancestry,' remarks the Rev. Tommy, ' seeing that our common parent was an old gardener who was dismissed from his master's service for fruitstealing.' All past and present volunteers and < very many other people will learn with j regret of the death of 'Dad Soall,' one of the most enthusiastic marksmen in Auckland for the past twenty or thirty years. He was the veteran of two recent Rifle Association meetings. | Snazelle advanced to the footlights at a Johannesburg theatre recently and informed the audience that the reporter on a local paper was ' a brute and an ass.' From which it may be inferred that the scribe in question had been ' slating ' Snazzy. But what polished and refined language from a public performer ! Rev. Joseph Berry, formerly of Auckland but now of Adelaide, has lately been denouncing gambling at the top of his voice. Races, cards, land-booms, church bazaars and mining specs he tars with the same brush. Glad he included church lucky-bags. They are too often overlooked. Amongst the numerous private telegrams which came to Wellington on election day from all parts of the country, conveying ' tips ' of the following day's results, was one from Westport, where Eugene O'Connor, ' the Buller Lion,' was fighting his seat with one of the McKenzie clan. It was laooni? and to the point : — ' The Lion dies to-night ; his funeral's tomorrow.' Jules Verne remarks in that rei cently-published story of Australian adventure of his : ' The Australian aboriginals lie on the scorching ground as if dead, with corn in their hands, till some bird comes within their reach.' Wrong, Jules, wrong. It is salt they hold ,in their hands. They Bprinkle it on the tails of the birds. Lord Glasgow, speaking at the Mayor's banquet at Melbourne on Nov. 9, said : — ' We have had to-day in the house of His Excellency Lord Hopetoun the best of good eating and drinking. We have seen the best of horse-racing,' &c, &c. Enough ! And yet, with all his enjoyment, Lord Glasgow condemned the working classes of Auckland on that self-same day to trudge all the way to the Domain on foot because he would not allow them the use of the Metropolitan Ground. j Lady Colin Campbell wants to know why women may not smoke. ' How much of modern poetry,' says she, ' and of the beat kind owes its inception 'to our Lady Nicotine and .why, therefore, should that great goddess, whose incense is offered up on millions of altars every day and night all over the world, have her female worshippers and priesteßßes to add a feminine charm and grace to her rites and worship ?' v Lady Colin would do well to put her question to Poet Wills. Joseph Symes, Ereethought lecture.*, from Melbourne, sat down rather heavily on a recent Sunday night at Wellington upon one of the orthodox who strayed into his meeting. The subject was ' Where is Heaven ?' or words to that effect, and Joseph was intent upon shewing that it was nowhere. Suddenly the orthodox individual, in language of immeasurable contempt, shouted out it was everywhere. ' Oh, indeed,'- imperturbably remarked Joseph, ' then, my friend, is it here ?' ' Certainly ' answered the orthodox personage. ' Thank you,' politely replied Joseph, ' in that case you need not shift.'

Mr G. H. Swan, the well-known brewer, has just been returned (unopposed) as Mayor of Napier — for the ninth time of asking. George Giffen, the cricketer, was originally an Adelaide post-office clerk at .£l5O per annum. Now he makes .£SOO a year out of cricket, and sees his name figuring in all the papers. Pachmann, the great Russian pianist* recently said to an interviewer : ' Von Bulow is a more unmodest man as I am, but afterl heem I am /a very unmodest artist. I play the piano very very pewtiful ; most lofely, yes ?' Tom Mann, professional agitator and mass-meeting orator, is going to enter the church. We don't know that we can congratulate the church, but Mr Mann will now at least have to do a little work for his tucker. The wife and family of the Eev. T. W. Dunn, well known in Auckland, arrived from Sydney this week on a visit to Mrs Dunn's relatives at Pukekohe. Eev. Mr Dunn is now the Presbyterian minister at Newtown, Sydney. Mr ' Sandy ' Watson is back from the old country. He is still of opinion that Auckland is the nicest spot on earth, and seeing that he places it above his beloved Scotia in his heart's affections, his compliment is a high one. Clarence Holt (father of Bland Holt) is now playing in the latest great spectacular drama at Drury Lane, ' A Life of Pleasure.' London Truth declares Mrs Bernard Beere and Clarence Holt are the most popular people in the play. While Mr G. M. Snelson was addressing the free and independent at "Pohangira the other evening, larrikins drove off in his buggy and hid it in the bush and it took all the electors present over an hour to find it. The language used during the hunt was not at all Parliamentary. Zola declares that Englishwomen are not the blushing creatures they are supposed to be in his country. He says dozens of them interviewed him in London and begged for an autograph. Said they 'knew all his delightful books and just doted on them.' They must have been very blushfnl creatures.