PAPERSPAST

MISCELLANEOUS.

Ninety-Sixth Regiment. — Letters have been received from India, dated Bth March. It is pleasing to us to be enabled to report for the information of the many friends of the 96th, that it was stationed at Cawnpore, and the entire regiment w*s in > perfect thealth. For some time previous it was stationed at Gazhapoor — where seven men died, a very small number, considering the usual casualties; on the march from that place to Cawnpore, which occupied 28 days, not a man was sick, or even footsore. Colonel Cumberland was Brigadier-General, and Major Bush commanded the regiment. Captain Eyton and Col. Wilson had gone to England on leave of absence ; Major Snodgrass and Captain Currer had joined the regiment.— Cornwall Chronicle.

An Officer from the Ranks. — Captain Simon Hirst, formerly of the Royal Horse Guards (Blue) died from apoplexy on the 11th March, at Brentford-bridge, the residence of his son-in-law. He enlisted in the Blues on the 27th of September, 1798, at the age of 18, and serving in all the intermediate grades, retired with the rank of Captain on the 27th May, 1842. He was highly esteemed for his eminent abilities and unwearied zeal in his profession, for which he was singularly adapted by the natural comeliness of his person, his gigantic stature, and commanding aspect. There are many still living who well remember the peculiar notice bestowed on the deceased by George 111., who, at his weekly inspection of the regiment at Windsor, would lay his royal hand upo'i the adjutant's shoulder, and say, " Hirst, thou art the finest man in my army.",

Curious Relic. — The Duke of Devonshire on bis visit to his estate in Ireland brought back that very curious relic of antiquity, the crozier of the ancient Bishops of Waterford and Lismore, which came into his Grace's hands, we believe, with the property of the Boyles, Earls ol Cork. It is of bronze, ornamented with enamel and beads, and if it do not belong (as some antiquaries contend it does) to the Bth or 9th century it is certainly not of later manufacture than the very commencement of the 12th century, the reign of Henry I. It has been privately seen by not a few Irish antiquaries, who are of opinion that it is of the workmanship of that country; and the Duke has kindly consented to its exhibition at the Society of Antiquaries in London, on an early occasion, in order to ascertain the decision of that learned body as to its precise age, and the part of the world where it was made. It seems clear that it did not come originally from Italy. — Globe.

Thk Late Lord Jeffrey. — The young Scottish student was by no means prepossessed in favour of Oxford, and seemed to think, like Gibbon, that little else than port and prejudice were to be imbibed in the College halls. He used to declare that he expected to learn nothing more than the pronunciation of the English language. This accomplishment, however, he never attained, for be only engrafted some high English tones on his Edinburgh patois, which, even with his fine deep voice, was far from being graceful of musical. An anecdote of his early days we have heard related, to the effect than when pleading one day before Lord Newton, the judge stopped him, and asked him in broad Scotch, " Whaur were ye educat, Mr. Jeffrey ?" "Oxford, my lord." " Then I doubt ye maun gang back there again, for we can mak nocht o' ye here." On another occasion the advocate in stating his case before the same judge happened to speak of an itinerant violinist. " D'ye mean a blin' fiddler ?" asked Lord Newton. "Vulgarly so called, my lord," answered the spirited advocate.

An Heroic Peiest. — We read in ajournal of Thes Landes ; " During the night of the 19th, while M. Bernard Cassigne, the assistant priest of the commune of Hern, was in bed, be beard the stealthy steps of a man approaching his room. As several attempts at robbery bad recently been made on his house, he was on his guard, and jumping out of bed rushed towards the man with a pistol in his hand, and snapped it, but the pistol missed fire. He then returned into his room and barricaded the door, calling for help from his two female servants. One of them

was too much alarmed to move, but the other seized a knife and ran towards her master's room, which she reached just as the man had forced the door and was struggling with the priest. In the darkness she could not distinguish one from the other, but feeling a band, she asked her master if it was his, and, on being replied to in the affirmative, she placed the knife in his hand, and told him to use it effectually. The priest dealt several severe wounds on his assailant, who called aloud for mercy. The servant, however, protested against any being shown, telling her master that if he did not despatch him others would come and assassinate them all. The priest then dealt some further blows, and the robber fell in a dying state, and received the last consolations of religion from the man he had so brutally attacked."

Indian Hemp in a French Cafe. — The Paris correspondent of ihe Medical Times gives the following singular account of the singular effects of the, Indian hemp, just introduced into France :—": — " Finding the hemp so strong, a physician ,resolved upon trying it on his neighbours; He therefore T>etook himself, with about 15 grains of the extract, to a cafe close by, to the habitues of which he was well known. It was Mardigras, and copious libations of flaming punch had pre- ■ pared the natives for anything or everything. Monte Christo, besides, had made the wonders of Hashish familiar to them, and all were anxious to test the properties of the unknown drug. Not more than a single grain were given to each — some bolted it like a bolus ; others smoked it ; one individual merely smeared about a|of a grain over his cigarette paper. About one grain was dissolved in a glass of Curacoa, and this v.as allotted to the master of the house, his two young and handsome daughters were forbiJden to taste | of the drug ; but the physician had evidently forgotten his scriptural history. About threequarters of an hour passed quietly over, and the curious were rapidly lapsing into incredulity, when a short laugh, followed by an awful and most piercing shriek, issued from an inner apartment. The youngest daughter, following traditional example, had tasted of the forbidden object and was suddenly struck with delirium arid hysterical movements of a very alarming appearance ; consciousness was only half obliterated, and the mind seemed to make supernatural efforts to escape from the chain about to be thrown around it. The shrieks were rapid, most violeut, and of a peculiar kind. Tlie girl felt conscious that she was raving, and earnestly entreated all around her not to conclude that she was mad, each appeal being terminated byaheartrendingscreara. Some internal sensation also compelled her to cry, pvery now and then, that she was dying. With great difficulty she was conveyed to bed, where the delirium continued for four hours, and all her little love secrets, &c, being revealed to the astonished auditors. As if a signal were set by this mischance, the young men in the ca'e went off about the same moment. The effects were not, however, so violent ; tbey were extremely varied. The individual who had soaked some hemp (^ grain) in his cigarette, was suddenly attacked by violent fits of laughter, which compelled him to roll on the floor, during which he exclaimed that something was raising him up to Heaven; these fits, resembling hysteria, did not last more than ten minutes. Another individual instead of being agitated, fell suddenly into a deep sleep, bolt upright against the wall, with the chin sunk on his chest, and the features in the most perfect calm. So profound was the sleep, that it continued for three' hours, despite the shouts and screams of the excited bacchannals who danced around him ; for, in the majority, the hemp merely produced intoxication. In all the excitement was soon followed by aa invincible tendency to sleep; the benches were s'rewn with the slain, and delightful, dreams, 1 producing strange laughter, repaid the adventurous tasters for their curiosity."

A Ragged School. — The following is an anecdote taken from the journal of one who conducted a ragged school : — " Finding it impossible to get the children to attend our school in the forenoon, we determined upon changing our hours to half-past six o'clock in the evening. We commenced our new plan on Sunday, November 26, when we had upwards of 200 children and youths in attendance. Under all circumstances their behaviour was good during the greater part of the evening. About 10 minutes to 8 o'clock, however, there was a signal given by some of the boys, and instantly there was a move in all parts of the room, and a rush made to the staircase. The superintendent was amazed at this proceeding'; recovering from his surprise, however, he darted across the room, and was just in time to catch the last one ere he reached the door. Twenty-one had already made their exit. The boy who was caught struggled hard to get away, and loudly cried, * Let me go, let me go !' But holding him fast, the teacher replied, -'When you have told me what this plot means you shall.'

' I want to po to basinets,' said tbe boy* ' Business? why it is Sunday night !' * Never mind, you let me. go,' ci led the lad. Tbe superintendent scill held firm. ' Well, I'll tell you the truth, Sir; do you see it is 8 o'clock V The teacher looked at the clock and nodded assent. ' Well, Sir, we catches them as they conies out of church and chapel.' A policeman now entered. 'Where,' said he, 'did you pet these boys from? They are every one of them convicted thieves."'

How to kill Rats. — Mr. W. Kidd, of Hammersmith, who had a whole aviary of prettily pluraaged pets destroyed by rats in one night, has now published an account of his recent campaign against the enemy :— "For the benefit of whom hereafter may fall victims to the rapacity of rats, I will lay before them my military tactics. Instead of commencing hostilities at once on discovering the extent of the ravages committed, I gave encouragement to the enemy, by throwing in his way divers articles of food, such as dripping, lard/meat, bones, fish, and other daintier Tli is gave hjm confidence, threw him off' his guard, so that he revelled unsuspiciously. I took care, meantime, to secure all the hen-bouses, and shut the inmates up every night to protect them from their bloodthirsty foe. The great field day was Friday last. I completed all my arrangements before the hour of dusk, impatiently waiting for the rising sun on the morrow. My poison was carbonate of barytes, ground to an impalpable powder, and phosphorus. An incision was made in the backs of the herrings, and the carbonate of barytes well rubbed in. The parts were then, as artistically as possible, reunited. Sprats being smaller than her rings, and more plastic, were pierced through with a piece of deal wood. Had a knife, a fork, or the human hand touched them, all would have been vain. The barytes was then 'drilled in,' and other sprats not poisoned, were placed above and below them, so that suspicion was disarmed. Latet anguis in herbu! Barytes is without taste and without smell ; hence its great value.' The way in which I applied the phosphorus would take more space to detail. When the preparations were all completed I itationed my trusty. messengers' in every part of the garden and shrubberies ; some under trees, some under flower-pots, some hidden by a brick, others partly embedded- in the garden walks, &c. They" 'did their bidding right bravely.' On coming down stairs the moaning following, I found the enemy had fallen into the snare. There was a serious diminution of the provisions furnished for their repast, and the hand of death was observable on every side. They had eaten ravenously ; they had been seized with cruel thirst, they had sated themselves with water : they had 'burst their boilers!' To use an expressive and most appropriate classical quotation, there was a visible decessio pereuntium — successio decedentium, which clearly proved I had won the day. In a word, two days and two nights effectually routed the whole. Oh! 'had they 10,000 lives, my great revenge has stomach for them all.' " — Gardener's Chronicle. When is a man not a man ? — When he's a good deal (board) bored. " This can't be beat," (beet) as the farmer said when he pulled up a large carrot.

The Bachelor Husband. — By Bachelor Husband, we mean a husband who is made a bachelor (,ro tern, by the absence of his wife. Of course such a kind of life has its little ■ enviable privileges and advantages ; but then : tHjds its drawbacks and annoyances, for which no freedom can compensate. It is freedom made slavery. Husbands are always raving about the bliss of getting away from their wives, and, when they do, what miserable creatures'they are ! They are always whining then to have them back again. Theßachelor- Husband is a melan■ choly proof of this. His wife has gone on a visit 'to her papa, or some rich relation in the country, from whom she has great expectations. She is not to return for a fortnight. The "dear Hubby" is left alone — not altogether out of love with the thought of being restored to liberty. And yet, the very fiist day, what a helpless creature he is! He is left the uncontrolled master of the house, and doesn't' know where a single thing fs kept. If he wants anything, he has to get up and search for it himself, and even then there is but a small chance of his finding it. For be doesn't know one key from another, and he tries them all ; but, as a matter of course, the very key that is wanted is missing. The first day he meets some frien is. He tells them with a triumphant chuckle, that he is a bachelor, and they must come borne and dine with him. What a flintier ! Probably it has not been ordered. How very foolish ! He quite forgot that lie has to go to the butcher's, and the poulterer's, and greengrocer's, every day himself now : or, if the dinner has been ordered, it is sure to be some vulgar dish which he is ashamed to see put upon the table, or else it turns out to be the very joirit which he never touches. For the cook does not know

all his whims and fancies, his choice aversions and preferences, as his wife does. Then again, the beer was " out" yesterday, and a fresh barrel has not been ordered in. There is a pause of ten minutes, therefore, to enable the cook to run out to the Adam and Eve for a pint of the best ale. When the best is brought, no one can drink it. He is profuse in his apologies to his dear friends, who assure him that it does not in the least matter, but, as they leave, it ii evident, from their blank faces, that they have turned down a page in the volume of their experience, as a private memorandum, never totrust to the tender hospitality of a Bachelor - Husband again. Poor Bachelor ! He is crawling up to bed, like a melancholy snail, just beginning to feel the weight of the house he has newly got upon his back, when suddenly he recollects he gave permission to the Nurse to pass the evening with her mother at Pentonville, and that she has not yet come in. He has raked the fire out in the parlour, and so he is obliged to go down into the kitchen, where he sits, listening to the tick- tick- tick of the kitchen clock, and amusing himself now and then with a grand battue of black beetles, till past one o'clock in the morning, when the mildeit ring at the bell proclaims Nurse's return. His troubles begin the first thing the next morning. He cannot get the servants out of bed. Then he has to ring separately for every article he wants. The servants' behaviour altogether is changed to what it is when Missis is at home. They seem to be aware of his helplessness, and do as little as they can to relieve it. When he goes down stairs, the room is scarcely dusted, or the dusters are lying about, and he nearly sits down upon the box of black lead brushes that has been left in his armchair. He cannot get the urn, and has to ring for the toast, and cut his own bread and butter, and air the newspaper himself. Then he is pestered with applications from the maid for towels, or pearl-ash, or soap, or clean sheets ; and, worse than all, has to meet that awful enquiry from the cook, " Please Sir, what will you have for dinner to-day ?" The daily enquiry persecutes him to that extent that at last he is driven away from his home, and regularly dines out. Moreover, it is cheerless dining alone — sitting opposite to his wife's empty chair — not a person to take wine, or exchange a word with. The silence grows oppressive, and any cheap, saw-dust dining place, where there are nothing but chops and steaks, — excepting steaks and chops, — soon becomes preferable. Not that the Bachelor-husband dines much at cheap dining-places. He runs through the circle of his friends and relations, beginning with his friends first, for he knows they give the best dinners, and reserving the relations for the last. He requires no invitation — for the fact of his being a Bachelor, throws open every dining-room door to him. He begins to stop out late — associates with young mea — gets into a habit of late suppers, and smokes incessantly — for a cigar is one of those recognized privileges which the Bachelor-Husband takes behind his wife's back, which he would never dare to do to her face. But smoking, even in his own parlour, is not enough to make the place happy. The place looks empty, dreary, and no wonder he comes home late, for it has lost all attraction, all comfort, in his eyes: It is a house for him, but no home. He is very little better than a lodger — he has merely taken a sittingroom and bed-room for a fortnight in his wife's ratnsion during her absence. He leaves ihe first thing in the morning, and goes home the last thing at night to sleep. Everything loses the bright appearance it had when his wife was on the spot to look after the house. The drawing-room stares at him like a dingy Lowther Bazaar smothered in dust. Dust seems to spread itself over every little thing, and the servants themselves appear as if they would be all the better for agood dusting. The Bachelor-Husband is an outcast in his own house. He has but little control over any one — and pays the bills that are put before him without a question, being too glad to ged rid of the nuisance as quick as possible. The washing, too, wears his life out. All his linen comes home wrong. His waistcoats and neck -handkerchiefs are washed so biliously he has not the face to wear them. The strings are off his collars ; and, as for Bachelor's Buttons, he has not a shirt with one on. He does not know whom to ask to help him. He complains, but his complaints are not heeded, and if he has a cold, he is obliged to nurse himself, receiving pity, consolation, and water-gruel, from no hands but his own. He puts his name down to be entered at some West-End Club (a Club for Bachelor- Husbands, by-the-by, would not be a bad move, open at all hours to all Bachelor- Husbands), so that, by the time his wife leaves him a Bachelor the second time, be may have some table of refuge where he can eat a good dinner in comfort, and invite friends to come and eat it with him. Wives should beware of this, and should never stop away too long — but should ra-

tber return ere the fortnight has elapsed, before they receive a letter imploring them to come home as soon as possible — for when they receive that affectionate summons, they may be sure that the very climax of wretchedness has been obtained by that poor, pitiable, persecuted, helpless, domestic hearth-broken individual, whom we call the Bachelor-Husband. Common prudence, not to say compassion, should whisper to them it is not fair, or worthy of the fair sex, to prolong any husband's sufferings to that extent ! — unless perchance they leave him in the hands of a warranted mother-in-law. — Punch.

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