It is Town Talk
Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 174, 31 October 1903, Page 22
It is Town Talk
—That it is not thought a bit Ixkely that "Charlie" Skerrett will rush the City Solicitor billet at £400 a year. —That a West Coast couple recently marked. The brute was 68, the groom 70. "In the spring a young mans fancy," etc. , —That no less than eleven members of the Parsons family assisted at the performance of "Elijah" last week. How is that for a record ? —That it is refreshing to know that something is to be done to suppress > the publication of inquest horrors ni^ future. No good 1 is gained by the publicity. —That nothing that has happened the prophet Dowie could so greatly affect his "mana" as that timely attack of influenza. It proves he is human. —That the opening, up of the city footpaths had the effect of nearly killing a blind man and has evidently driven him out of the organ-grinding industry. —That English professional footballers receive over a million pounds to salaries per year. There seems to be something in "muddied oofing' after all. —That the New South Wales Arbitration Act doesn't seem to have the grip of its New Zealand hiother. Why are those New South Wales miners striking? That many of the names given by the recently-raided "two-uppers" prove that they have a special admiration tor exponents of the great art of sed±-defence. That it is a reminder of old times to see the Corporation workmen picking out ti-tree in opening up the roadway in Adelaide-road. Relic of a "corduroy" track. That at least one advertiser in the Wellington daily papers is a humourist. He wants a six-roomed house, "rent not to exceed 10s." He must mean a doll's house. That Daniel Frawley considers the New Zealand audiences superior to the Australian in their powers of appreciation. But then "Dam" has left the Common wealth . — That there is kkely to be some rather lively revelations in trotting circles soon. It is- the big-wigs of the head trotting institution that are going to play to quick time. — That the rumour that Captain Fisher, the officer who recently figured in the alleged insubordination case, intends to stand for Parliament next election has not been denied. > — That the doctor may count on a really superb outbreak of fever in the tank-dependent suburbs 1 if the powers that be don't hustle, and give them a permanent wa+er supply. — That, since Kilbirnae is in the city, and the powers that be are making some alteration on the shores of Evans Bay, they might give that open dram a dose of disinfectant — or close it. —That the Wellington City Council should take a trip to Ohnstcbui-ch, where tbo convenience of the public is much studied. Cars, roads, and footpaths make those of the Empire City hide their ashamed heads."" — That, now that the City Council is really nibbling at Miramar Limited's excellent offer of a park perfectly disinterested people are showing what a mistake it would be to acquire the finest sate available in a district of poor sites. — That the Home reader who believes in the idyllic Maori of New Zealand Christmas numbers, will be pained to hear that a member of that traditionally glorious race was recently fined five .shillings for allow ing his chimney to catch fire. — -That a rumour gained ground that our bachelor Minister of Mines was engaged, and about to marry in. Wellington, but, to the delight of the Thames young hopefuls, an emphatic denial put back the blushes to their cheeks and ribbons to their hair. — That a "motor wedding" was on the point of taking place a day or tw o ago. The arrangements fell through owing to the lack of machines. When the rumour got abroad, the friend® of the bride and bridegroom sprang up everywhere, and broke up the show . — That the American property-buying syndicate, that is buying big slices of architecture here, ought to be approached by Auckland to buy its white elephant, Admiralty House, and by Christchurch to buy its brother elephant, the Canterbury Hall. Both could spare them.
That Mr. Parker must be a proud man to be crowned by an Allpress (who is Allpress?), and to be praased by a Dean. .That quite a lot of people whose names are published in connection, with the "two-up" raid would have lost a "pot" of money to avoid publicity. That Tanner's Ar^ and Buckendge's Kia Ora are having troublous tames. Evidently, Providence is at last interfering to stop the idiotic- dollar-raaismg practice of breaking records. .That many citizens, hitherto regarded as inoffensive, are appearing in photographic Sandow" groups, showing much swelled muscle. There are more "snags" about than foijmerly. — That a vegetable curiosity is on view in an up-country shop. It is a monster mushroom, measuring 2ft 6in across. It was founn growing on some "goods" in a second-hand shop. — That it would be a comparatively sample task to take the town water supply over the top of Constable-street to Kilbirnie, where the people are patiently waiting for fever to break out. — -That the Maoris around Wellington predicted a wet spring, because the ducks were building high. Suburban residents who have been carrying wacer wish the Maori was a good prophet). — -That it would be unkind to suggest that Joseph Chamberlain bad bought tihe Press Association agemev in London. Mr. Chamberlain as not a South African war, or tihe Chinese probkm. — That Wellington badly wants new name-plates for its streets, and more of tihjem. The average stranger gets "bushed" very quickly, and may be excused for calling Willis-street "This 'ere lane." — That a clergyman, who performed the ceremony of baptism in a suburban church on Sunday, had been rung up on Saturday to be sure and bring a bottle of water. The neighbouring tanks were all dry. — That a bookmaker may not stand still, and make a bet. If he does so he is. in a "place," and it is illegal. The prospect of a bookmaker legally laying odds while going at a trot is as ludicrous as the law. — That a sergeant of police declares that prohibited persons should be labelled. Prohibitionists wear blue ribbon, he says. Make a law compelling teetotallers to wear one, however, and wait for war. — That a humorous Waiirarapa policeman, who was unable to find a J.P. to sign a warrant last week, passing a swaggers' camp, asked "Any o' you fellers Jay Pees?" Four out of the five were "ayes." — That it was considered worth cabling that rain fell in London on thirty consecutive days. In reply, we bag to point out that rain did not fail in Eketaihuna for thirty-two days. London "Times" please dopy. — That Musical Festival Deain seems to possess a larpe fund of anginal ideas. That is. probably why he conferred a boon upon the public at the Riversi Allpress-laui el-wreath presentation. on Saturday ni<rht, bv readme out from that day's "Times" and "Post" their little puffs on Mr. Parker. Just think what everybody would have missed if that sharp young man hadn't had tihe Ailpress wreath to present.